I find it really interesting how women who are single can’t figure out why they keep getting their hearts broken. If you want to know the truth, I already figured out one of the primary reasons why it happens. Because when you want certain things or even convey them, like the desire for a lot of excitement and perhaps even an element of danger or “hotness”, along with those traits often come the unfortunate side effects of restlessness, instability, flightiness, irresponsibility, addictive behaviors or vices, and unfaithfulness. Think about it.
Let’s look at this from several angles. Look deeply into what people who crave non-stop excitement represent. They require a constant refresh to their senses. What does this mean? They often get bored easily, are restless, don’t know how to settle down, etc. Does this sound like someone who has a greater chance to stray from a relationship or end it if it seems boring to them if the status quo changes without first trying to work things out? Yes. Does this sound like someone who may be less responsible in the long run because they always want to play? Yes. Does this sound like someone who might be more engaged in addictive behaviors and vices if their lives are no longer able to be “non-stop excitement time”? Yes. So, do people who require all of that newness or sense of danger make good relationship partners? Long-term, no. Because as life transpires, the status quo always changes, and if people who NEED that kind of constant refresh don’t get it like they had it in the beginning, the relationship will be doomed. So, for short-term, yeah, these people might seem like a blast. But in the long run? They’re not going to last.
It’s as simple as that, and that’s why, ladies, neither men OR women who represent or want a lot of excitement, newness, elements of danger or “hotness” will ever last in a long term relationship. And it’s one of the many reasons why people constantly get their hearts broken on a daily basis and the “good ones” either get hurt or rarely get dates.
So, ladies say they want a “good guy.” You say you want something “long-term and stable.” You say you are tired of being cheated on, abused, used, in relationships with men who don’t respect you, can’t commit, and the list goes on and on and on. Well, ladies, it all starts with you. You need to CHANGE what you think is important in a male in order to GET what you need to be in a relationship with that good guy you say you’ve been longing for.
First of all, let me tell you something. Good guys are almost never adrenaline junkies, don’t crave non-stop excitement, don’t do dangerous things, don’t have major addictions, don’t feel the need to put on some kind of masculinity show, sleep around, or anything that is going to make them be what they aren’t OR draw too much attention to them and, truth be told, those same conservative things that may make a lot of women think these kinds of men are boring, in effect, are the same things that make them better long-term mates. It does not mean that they will not have fun with you when time, energy, and money permits. It does not mean that every once in a while out of the blue he won’t do something special for you. It does not mean he won’t be a blast to talk to. But he will not get bored easily, not get restless, not have addictions, not be abusive, not cheat on you, he will commit, he will respect you, and the reason he won’t take big risks is because he is stable and does not need to or want to because he IS stable.
So, he’ll be an occasional high for you, but you won’t get it non-stop, but by not getting that kind of thing non-stop, it’s a sure-fire way of knowing he’s stable. Occasional highs with more stability is better than non-stop excitement that leads towards heartbreak due to the personality side effects that generally accompany those kinds of behaviors. Live and learn.
Not only is that something you ladies should be looking for but, truth be told, you need to learn what the good guys want and adjust your life accordingly or you’ll have a life filled with non-stop heartache. Good guys who are stable, looking for someone for the long haul, etc., aren’t looking for women who crave non-stop excitement, nor have elements of danger about them, or women who take other big risks or show signs of either instability or the inability to be happy in their own skin, so to speak. Risk-takers, to the good guys, are the ones who take a walk on the wild side, and that’s not someone who seems stable enough for them to be with them for the long haul, because women like that are a MAJOR potential flight risk.
Overall, long-term relationships and marriages are not for everyone. It takes two special kind of people to be able to make them work. So if you’re not comfortable with getting a “good guy” and being happy with one and/or you have behaviors that make it so that you’re not what a good guy would want, then your only choice is to never marry or have hopes of anything beyond the short term. It’s as simple as that. One of the primary reasons the divorce rate is high, in my opinion, is for the very reasons mentioned above.
See it like this. Say you’re with someone who likes rocking the boat you’re in with him. It’s exhilarating and fun at first…it wakes you up…excites you, shows you his strength and sense of adventure/excitement. Well, when you’re ready to settle down what if he’s still doing that? How “cute” or “hot” is it going to be then? It’s not. It’s either going to make you want to jump out of the boat and swim away or just throw up. Oh, and that’s only “if” he didn’t see you calm down first, not like it because you weren’t enjoying his little show and still playing along, in which case he probably would’ve already jumped out of that boat. So, it’s something to think about. Whenever you think of being with someone, think of the long-term effects of you being with that person, forever, on the boat of life. What’s going to make you more content for the long run? Someone who starts out fun but ends up making you sick because when you’re ready for something stable he’s going to make it unstable OR he’s just going to hurt you because he doesn’t like the changes he sees in you when you decide to be stable yourself? Wouldn’t it be better to be on a boat with a guy who it’s mostly smooth sailing with, but to liven it up from time to time shakes the boat a little or does or says something to make you fall in love with him all over again, but without trying to shake things up non-stop and making you downright SICK? So, don’t look for Mr. Excitement, Mr. Dangerous, or Mr. Virility because, if you do, your relationship will probably be short lived, if it even becomes a relationship. I can almost guarantee it. And, for the love of God or whatever you believe in, if you want to catch the right kind of fish, you need to be the right kind of bait. So if your actions and lifestyle or just what you like or who you are overall aren’t conducive to what a good guy wants and you REALLY want a long-term relationship with a truly good guy, change yourself or be single forever, stuck in a lifetime series of short-term relationships. It’s your choice.
