Does anyone in this world really understand what love is and what love isn’t? After a few of my ex-girlfriends, I really wonder if anyone is out there who is single even has the same kind of views as myself anymore. Am I really this much of a dying breed?
This is going to bounce back and forth between what love isn’t and what love is. I’m going to go with the big topics here.
Love ISN’T saying “I love you” to someone and that you want them and want to be with them, but even during a breakup getting together with someone else and, worse, doing something physical with them. Seriously, folks. If you are in love, even in times when you’re apart due to rocky times, you shouldn’t even WANT to be with anyone else and ESPECIALLY do physical things with them. Why? First off, because people who honor real love won’t even HAVE those thoughts or will AT LEAST have the logical common sense and the moral code to prevent themselves from doing stuff like that. And secondly, because it spoils any chance of reconciliation if things are patched up because it shows the other person that, even in times when the relationship is apart, you’d STILL be cheating on LOVE. If someone is that flighty with their emotions, they will never be able to be trusted to be a good long-term partner. Ever.
Love IS about hope and faith just as much as it is about staying together, and hope and faith are required during moments of separation. Real love is a very rare and sacred thing that shouldn’t be tossed to the side due to a few temporary hiccups or uncertainties or the fact that you get horny when you’re apart from someone. I mean, come on folks! Seriously! Honor love. It’s important not to screw something so wonderful up, you know?
Love ISN’T saying you’re exclusive with someone but then still stay on dating sites and talk to other single people to keep your options open. I’m sorry, but even if you just want to be friends with people, people get on dating sites to find dates. So I constitute that as cheating if you’re in an exclusive relationship because it means a person is putting themselves out there and putting the relationship in the path of danger. You want to find normal friends if you’re in a relationship? Look on Fbook or something, but not a dating site filled with single people who are looking.
Love IS pushing potential obstacles and people who could try to intrude on your love for someone away and out of your lives. Only people who represent positive influences to your love with that person should be a part of your lives, not those who represent a threat to it or make the other person feel constantly uncomfortable.
Love ISN’T lying to your partner non-stop to tell them what you think they want to hear. Love is telling them the truth so they actually know who you are and where you stand on things. Otherwise, they’ll be in a relationship with one giant lie.
Love IS letting the other person know the real you at all times. How you feel, what you think about, what your decisions are, what you want, and what you are and aren’t ready for are all things that need to be stable and consistent and not flip-flop constantly.
Love ISN’T pulling someone forward only to push them away again once they get close. Love isn’t about pushing someone away….ever….but about pulling them forward NON-STOP.
Love IS bringing someone so close to you at all times and in every way because you want them to be a part of you and your life wholeheartedly.
Love ISN’T changing your mind on someone constantly when it comes to your feelings, because then that person will never know where they stand in the relationship.
Love IS knowing your feelings for someone else and being certain of them because not only does it show you know what you feel, but it also gives the other person peace of mind that they don’t have to constantly guess and, in turn, makes them feel more safe and secure in the relationship if they feel the same way, too.
Love ISN’T cheating, being selfish, refusing to compromise, or still thinking like a single person. It’s just not.
Love IS being faithful, sharing, compromising on things that can be compromised on, and thinking as a unit—a couple in love who realizes that every action they make can affect the other person deeply.
Love ISN’T being unsure with your feelings about someone. You just know because you feel it and recognize all of the obvious signs.
Love IS recognizing all of the obvious signs that you adore someone so much that you know your life would be forever incomplete without them.
Love ISN’T being with someone and not thinking of a potential future with them, and that means marriage and kids. If you can’t envision yourself being with someone forever and can’t see your unborn children in their eyes when you look at them, you are not with the right person.
Love IS loving to be with someone so much that you can’t see yourself spending the rest of your life with anyone else but that one person, wrapped up in their arms forever. It’s about looking at them and knowing they are the only person on the planet you want to make babies with and raise them together. It’s about looking at that person and instantly, in a flash, seeing your future…a future with them and only them…from the time you’re young to the time you’re old and gray.
Love ISN’T wanting to date other people. It’s about wanting to be exclusive with just one person.
Love IS being so sure about someone being good for you that you only want to be with them because of how you feel about them and how they would be such a great addition to your life.
Love ISN’T avoiding talking about serious issues.
Love IS being able to talk about serious subjects, because even though it’s great to have fun and goof off, life also has serious issues that need to be discussed, whether about feelings or life plans or money or jobs or whatever.
Love ISN’T keeping your distance from the person you love.
Love IS constantly wanting to be with someone and making every effort possible to see them as much as you can because you just want to be with them.
Love ISN’T trying to exclude the other person from your family and children if you already have some.
Love IS including and immersing the person you love in every aspect of your life—your family, your friends, your children if you have them, where you live, how you live…you need to show them everything or they will not be able to bond with you completely or know the full, real YOU.
There's tons more, of course, but I thought this would be a good start.
