Although I could easily keep this private, I have decided that it's a good way for people to learn something they really need to learn if they don't already know it. Although I don't have a lot of younger friends, I thought I'd put this here for people to read in case they just don't understand this yet. Actually, I think this is really important and something that seems to NOT be taught nowadays because of Internet porn being so prevalent and such.
I was talking to a younger girl on a dating site and for some reason the subject of physical intimacy came up and she asked how I thought things should go when the subject comes up of what people will and won't do or should or shouldn't do. I basically said this....
As far as intimacy and compromise is concerned, it's like this. You should always be respectful of the mind, feelings, and body of someone else, and things should only be done that you are both comfortable with because intimacy isn't intimacy if one person isn't sharing the comfort factor of what's being done. If something seems psychologically damaging to one person, or disgusting, or harmful, doing it will forever leave a bad, uncomfortable impression in that person's head, and that could easily scar that person and eventually cause resentment, feelings of shame or potential disgust, and that will cause a major rift in the relationship. So, when it comes to intimacy, sometimes the best medicine isn't compromise, but sacrificing the things people don't agree upon so that both people can feel comfortable with what they're doing. In a way, THAT is how you compromise with intimacy--by process of elimination. There's so many things partners can do during intimacy that even with eliminating the things both aren't comfortable with you will still be left with pleasurable options that will be beneficial, healthy, and pleasing for the both of you so you will both be happy, not feeling grossed out, in pain, mentally or physically violated or weird, and feeling like it was a mutually pleasing experience.
Overall, intimacy should just be "fun" for both of you, without any expectations because, hey, sometimes people have more energy and sometimes they have less, sometimes people are having a great night and other times they're having a crappy one, and sometimes things work like they're supposed to and sometimes they don't. Sometimes us men can be Superman and other times us men can be "Minute man." You can't always think things are going to be perfect every time because they're just not. Those factors are, of course, very important to take into consideration, especially if you're in love with the person. But one of the things you ALWAYS have to keep in mind when you're at least trying to have fun with someone you love is, well, to do things that both of you consider fun. That's the key right there.
