Facial Piercings

Ear piercings I understand since that tradition has went back a looooong time, but I truly do NOT understand women who pierce other parts of their face.  I mean seriously....since when is it considered sexy to look like you've been the unfortunate by-standard in a fishing accident?

My Decision

I have decided, after way too many years of dating online, that it’s probably not in my best interest to try to meet women in an electronic nut house.  Besides, the odds of meeting someone who understands me or even wants someone like me in today’s day and age is probably rather slim. I have now come to terms with being alone and although it was not my first preference and I fussed and fumed over it, being constantly disappointed is truly much worse than being alone.

Official...

Okay, it's official.  I have now transferred all of my old text rants from my document files as well as Facebook, so anything new that I post from this point on is all going to be BRAND new.

Stop Trying To Upgrade!

A person’s personality is, by far, what makes people fall in love and stay in love, but it’s a person’s physicality, whether you want to admit it or not, that is the initial attraction button that causes a person to click on a picture or to walk across a room to talk to someone to try and get to know them.

Now, then, I’ve been dating online for a while now (Unfortunately) and this is something interesting I've noticed about a lot of single people.......It's funny, but it's like people always want to physically "upgrade."  It doesn't always work out for them and they don't always get what they want, but that's one of the reasons I think many people stay
single for so long.  Because they're always trying to improve their genetics or something.  Big men and women want someone who looks better than they do, average men and women want someone who looks better than they do, and average looking and not so pleasing to look at people want someone who looks better than they do, but truly beautiful people are often times the only exception to that--they are fine dating people who look just like them.

But the rest?  It's like people either think they look a hell of a lot
better than they actually do, or SoMeThInG within them is telling them to
mate with people who look better.  Maybe some sort of DNA-based desire to
advance the species.  Heck if I know.  I don' t know what it is.  I
mean...you have no IDEA how many women I've seen and talked to who were
bigger or average or average looking or hideous and NEVER ONCE went after
someone of their own looks caliber.  I mean, I know I'm not perfect
looking, but I know I have to be average for looks.  Well, I can rarely even
get the attention of a plain girl most of the time because they're too
busy going after the Brad Pitts and the David Beckhams of the world
thinking they're somehow going to give them a shot.  I mean, are people
really fooling themselves that much? 

Why is it I seem to be one of the few realistic ones?  You see, when I look, I go after women who are cute, but not stunningly beautiful/model material or would make me feel
like I'm hideous.  Just "cute."  Someone to match me.  I mean, I'm at
least somewhat cute I think.  Not super cute, but somewhat.  But even the
somewhat cute women are looking at the "super hot" guys, so I never get a
chance.  It just sucks.  I just wish people would stop trying to upgrade,
because when everyone is trying to upgrade, no one ends up with ANYTHING
because the people they're trying to upgrade to aren't going to really be
interested in anything but a short-term fling because they won't be
satisfied a lot of times.  That's just what I'm seeing  anyway, at least
from the "initial" attraction point. 

After that and the personality comes into play things get a lot more tricky since that's what allows us to stay with people and have relationships with them (Or not).  But initially..the clicking on a picture issue or walking across the room issue all seems to
be based on physical attraction, and the people the certain types are attracted to are just oh so out of their freaking leagues, and when someone of their own caliber comes near, it's just not good enough for them.  It just ticks me off to no end.  I mean, don't these people own a mirror?  They're not THAT good looking!!!!!  So come on!  Be honest with yourself. 

Okay, I’m stepping down from the podium now.

Real LIVE DATES!

According to a book I recently read, communication is 60% nonverbal (Via body language) and has five times more impact than verbal communication, which means if a person tries to get to know someone online only they’re only getting 40% of the person.  Therefore, if a person can't go on an actual real life date after talking to me for a few days online, then that person is obviously too socially awkward for me to be interested in them and they’re going to miss 60% of how I, or anyone for that matter, happens to communicate.  So, please, be serious, logical, and open about meeting people if you're thinking of contacting someone, okay?  I realize that online dating makes a lot of people feel safe and more secure, but it’s that same thing that makes you lose more than ½ of the human factor.  Getting the more positive aspects out of life and getting what you want is about being more involved in real life, not the electronic one.         

I Like Happy Women!

I get along much better with women who are not shy.  Women who are personable/friendly/bubbly, like to talk, like to ask questions about me as much as I like to ask about questions about them (In other words, shows interest!), and who have no problem making eye contact when they talk with me.  Those are the types of women I seem to get along with the best and women like that also allow ME to shine because when they’re that way “I” am that way.  Generally speaking, I’m often a direct reflection of how someone is acting around me.  So…have some fire in you?  I’ll be the same way.  Seem like you’re having a horrible time or you’re bored?  I’ll be the same way as well.  

My List of Deal-Breakers

Deal-Breakers. This is a long list, but it’s there for a good reason. I’m tired of meeting the wrong ones and I’m finally ready to meet the RIGHT one:

I am NOT interested in women who:

1. Smoke
2. Do drugs (And yes, marijuana is a drug)
3. Drink excessively
4. Have had sex with a same-sex member and enjoyed themselves or are curious about that sort of thing or think that's "hot" or just "girlish fun." Sorry, but I am not interested in someone who could be potentially bi or gay. I have no problem with gay people (My only sibling is gay, actually) or bi people, but I do not want them as relationship partners, thank you very much.
5. Have ever cheated on anyone or ever could, and that includes emotionally, on the computer…everything.
6. Lie
7. Don’t want to get married or have kids (I want 2) or have trouble committing to an exclusive relationship
8. Are into anal sex (Come on—it’s an exit! Yuck!), want to be in a threesome or ever was, are into S&M, bondage, want to bring toys into the bedroom, or anything else that isn’t traditional. Sorry, but oral sex and intercourse is about as risqué as I’m ever going to go. Just being honest. Although I enjoy intimacy, I feel it’s more like love is supposed to be and a much more special experience when it’s not weird or disgusting or degrading. That’s just the way that I am. 
9. Have more than 2 animals if they have pets.
10. Can’t talk about adult subjects in order to express how they feel about all topics
11. Have more than 2 (3 MAYBE but it’s iffy) VERY small tattoos, they’re all located in places I’m okay to see when a woman is nude (Sorry, but if they’re on your breasts, it’s not gonna’ happen…lol) and they’re all tastefully done AND they can’t want anymore…ever. Sorry, but I’m not a fan of them so I basically have to put up with them since finding someone without tattoos is a very difficult task nowadays, so at least I’m bending a LITTLE bit.
12. Have piercings other than your ears or navel
13. Weigh over 160 and aren’t really out of proportion for their height. 160 and taller for a woman? I could deal with that. 160 and 5 ft? No. I believe in the 30 pound rule. Never date someone who weighs over 30 pounds than you. I have a slender frame, so I need to stick to that rule. Although I’d love to find someone who weighs less, in the U.S. I doubt I’m going to get that lucky. I’ve come to terms with that now. 
14. Doesn’t care about their health and ONLY eat foods that are bad for them. Sorry, but I want a partner for life, and a long one at that.
15. Don’t like intimacy. You need to be able to share that with a person you fall for and enjoy it. If you don’t, you’re definitely not going to be the right person for me. (Or most men, really)
16. Have any mental health problems or are really moody all the time. Sorry, but I’ve been down that road too many times with women and it never ends well.
17. Need to spend money or be constantly entertained to be happy
18. Complain a lot
19. Won’t make time for me. When I become a couple with someone, I’m more of a boyfriend/girlfriend/do everything together kind of person, not a once-in-a-blue-moon dating kind of person.
20. Who don’t realize that life is what happens when you’re making other plans. People shouldn’t expect everything to be perfectly lined up in order all the time, because life just doesn’t always work out that way. “Stuff happens.”
21. Ditch the boat of life with their partner if the boat gets rocky. Calmer waters are always ahead.
22. Who don’t at least have SOME similar interests as myself or at least the desire to learn. I want to be able to share some things with my partner so we can do things together other than just talking and the physical stuff, you know?
23. Are completely immersed in sports, especially watching them. Sorry, but I'm just not a sports-watching kind of guy.
24. Are into activities such as mudding, watching UFC, hunting, BMX racing, or riding motorcycles. Sorry, but I relate all of that stuff to masculine endeavors and that's what they were where I come from, so I'd rather not end up with a partner that is going to remind me of another male. 
25. Don't take care of themselves in a feminine way. I like women who wax, bleach or shave their arm hair if they have it, their upper lips, under their arms, their legs, take care of unibrows, color their hair if they have some silver or gray spots, don't have a happy trails line (Some pubic hair is fine and actually I kind of like that, but a happy trails line? Come ON!), etc. Seriously--I do NOT want to see a hairy woman and be reminded of another man. So you must be somewhat feminine! 
26. Don't like to learn. Seriously--I talk a lot, and know about a lot of subjects, so if you can't keep up with what I know you need to at least be willing to learn about the stuff I like to talk about. 
27. Aren't compassionate and understanding. A person needs to stand by a man's side (And vice versa) whether they're at the top of the mountain or so many bad things happen to them that they feel like they're trapped underneath it. Otherwise, long term commitments will be impossible for that person because as soon as something bad happens to the other one they'll dart. 
28. Aren't happy, cheerful, and talkative. I can be a bit of an empath and take on the mood of those around me, so an overly shy or mopey woman is only going to cause ME to be that way, and I do NOT want to be that way!
29. Doesn't have baby daddy drama if she has kids. I'd, actually, prefer if a woman has kids that her ex-sperm donor was no longer in contact with her since that seems to make things a lot easier for a new man trying to come into her life.

Sorry if this sounds strict, but I’ve been in enough relationships to know what makes or breaks a relationship!

Long Life.....

My dad, brother, and Grandpa are all short, so I wanted to let you know that being short can actually be an asset in the long run.  Here's a list of the top 10 supercentarians (People over the age of 110) who lived the longest.  Add about 1-4 inches to their last known heights due to shrinkage.  So, does shorter stature often equal greater longevity?  I truly do think so. 

1.Jeanne Calment (Female) 4'11 (Max of 5 ft 3 before shrinkage)

2.Sarah Knauss (Female) 4'7 (Max of 4 ft 11 before shrinkage)

3.Marie-Louise Meilleur (Female) 4'11 (Max of 5 ft 3 before shrinkage)

4.Christian Mortensen (Male) 5'3½ (Max of 5 ft 7 1/2 before shrinkage)

5.Tomoji Tanabe (Male) 4'9 (Max of 5 ft 1 before shrinkage)

6.Giovanni Frau (Male) 4'10 (Max of 5 ft 2 before shrinkage)

7.Edna Parker (Female) 5'0 (Max of 5 ft 4 before shrinkage)

8.Beatrice Farve (Female) 4'7 (Max of 4 ft 11 before shrinkage)

9.Clara Huhn (Female) 5'2 (Max of 5 ft 6 before shrinkage)

10. The only exception in this top ten is Julie Bertrand who was 5'8 (6 ft max before shrinkage)  

Sigh...is another boat coming this way any time soon?

So, how did I miss the boat and end up never being married or having any kids?  Let’s just say a series of unfortunate events led me to end up being stuck on the pier as everyone else was waving from off shore and leave it at that.  So, here I sit, still wanting the same things as I wanted when I was younger, to fall in love with someone who loves me just as much, sweeping her off her feet and marrying her, and having children (Us guys can have kids into our golden years, you know) together and taking all of life’s random hiccups together but never losing sight o what’s really important.  But I just can’t seem to meet anyone that fits what I need.

I hate to generalize, but what I keep finding are people who want me but I don’t want them, or those I do want but want nothing to do with me or, if a match IS made, a major deal breaker comes out that ruins all of it. 

So, here I am…still trying.  I’ve given up many times, only to start over again knowing how important it is to make the puzzle complete.  I’m at the point in my life where I no longer have time for games or guessing or settling for the wrong person and trying to make something work that never will work.  I want the real thing

I like people who try to educate themselves, especially considering the purpose of education is to get you to think beyond yourself. 

IMO, if a person can’t speak without using the f-word, they can't speak.

I want someone who can instinctively distinguish between the elevated and the degraded, and if a person needs to ask what that that means, then they just aren’t there yet.

Intimately, I’m more traditional.  So if a woman is looking for some kind of freak or someone who is going to demean and disrespect them in the bedroom once a relationship reaches that level, there’s millions of  sleazebags out there who would be more than happy to accommodate them, but I’m not one of them.

Advice For Single Women

I recently wrote this to a young friend of mine when she asked me about relationships, so I decided to tell her what I learned and what my female friends have learned as well (Many of them having been married for MANY years), and I wanted to share it with you.

1. Do not fall for guys who seem tough or like they "don't care what people 
think" or who seem extremely into themselves. Although that element of 
toughness/virility or danger might be exciting to a lot of women, I can tell you 
from my personal female friends that men who ride on the edge of toughness or 
danger make lousy boyfriends and even worse husbands. They cheat, treat them 
poorly because they're verbally or physically abusive, do reckless things with 
their bodies, have no minds that are capable of working out problems with their 
mates, and the list goes on and on and on. The more masculine a guy is, to be 
honest with you, the less of a good long-term partner he's going to make. Proven words 
by absolutely every single one of my female friends who have been in extremely long relationships.  Marriage, in effect, is one of the most unique things we as a human race has. It entails not only being with someone for the long haul, but it requires problem-solving abilities, passion and dedication both, compassion, the ability to compromise, extreme faithfulness, loving NOT what you "don't expect" but loving what to EXPECT because once we know someone SO well that's what we have to love, not the "newness" they can bring to our senses. And, let me tell you, most men like I listed above do NOT NOT NOT have those qualities.

2. Do not get involved with someone just because there's "some things" you love 
about him but he has so many bad things that you just hang on because of what you 
love. Let me tell you something about people you may not have realized yet. 
First off, people only change if they want to. Secondly, when they do change it's 
rare, and third, never think you can mend someone or "fix" them. This is real 
life, not Beauty and the Beast. In real life, in 99.9% cases all beasts are 
beasts. I have been in way too many relationships where women said they had 
changed or wanted to change for the better but not one of them did. When you're 
involved in a relationship like that two things happen. First, you resent them 
because they're NOT improving the things they said they were going to improve 
upon, and secondly they resent YOU for wanting them to change, even if they say 
they wanted to. So, overall, it's good to love everything about a person, because 
if there's deal-breakers, they won't get better. They just won't.

3. There's keys to compromising. The first thing you need to do is find out if  there's something you can do that will appease BOTH people so that whatever  decision is made both people will benefit from it, even if one or both people have to at least partially sacrifice something. Secondly, if that doesn't work if one person isn't completely set on their decision and can go either way, then they have to make the sacrifice for the greater good. And if no one wants to budge and a compromise can't be made, all decisions should be thrown out the window and they need to find a completely different way to tackle the problem. However, overall, decisions should only be made as a couple that will take BOTH people's lives into account. You always...always...must remember that if you're part of a couple, whether before or after marriage, that every single action you make can ultimately affect the other person in the relationship. So it's KEY KEY KEY to think not just as yourself anymore, but as a couple. If most people did that there would BE no problems in a relationship anymore. That's why it's called a "union." Otherwise, it's just two completely separate individuals living in the same place and if you think like that you're going to be constantly head-butting. So am I saying serious relationships and marriages are for everyone? NO! Actually, IMO too many people get married who should not, and many people who do not SHOULD. It requires a COMPLETELY different way of thinking to make it work long-term. This is what I as a single person who has had a lot of 2-3 year relationships has learned, and it's what a lot of my female friends who have had 10 year+ marriages have learned. 4. Never go to bed angry. Seriously. Resentment and anger only escalate if  problems are not solved immediately. Get the bad stuff out of the way and make up....fast...or else things will fester and down the road things will only be  worse. 5. Let your partner know everything about you...and I mean everything...good and bad or weird. That way, down the road they won't think they were involved with a stranger and be angry at you because they fell in love with someone they didn't even know. Then they'll start to view you in another light, so it's always best to come clean in the beginning. 6. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever cheat or even put yourself in situations  where you're tempted. If your partner even SEES you in situations where you're  able to cheat like, say, you're in an exclusive relationship but he finds you're  on a dating site, even if you say you're just looking for "friends", every man  knows that a woman would not even want to be putting herself in the path of a  myriad number of single men with ulterior motives if she was happy and in love.  Want friends and you're in an exclusive relationship? Find them via your friends on facebook. Do NOT look for friends on a dating site because many people say they want friends on there, but they're saying that so people won't rush. So, just remember to always protect your relationship and make your partner feel safe.  That's very, very important. Without a feeling of safety, neither of you will feel like the other one is serious or means what they say. 7. Never rush to break up if there's a problem. I know that a lot of people do  that because they're trying to force the other person to react and then make up  and get back together, but sometimes...what happens is a breakup happens and then someone else steps into the picture and does something physical with one of them, but then when the original couple gets back together and the other person finds out about that, they feel like the "bond" they had with that one person is then broken, and then they no longer want to be with them. So, never, even in times of separation, should you break that bond if you're still in love with the person. Sometimes misunderstandings happen, and you never, ever want to throw a monkey wrench into the gears of love during a time when the clock temporarily stalls, because it could just be something temporary. 8. Remember...never concentrate on what a person can do FOR you or give you...but concentrate on who the person is. When you know someone SO well that "that" is what you love...knowing everything about them and being SO happy that's who they are....and that is what keeps you with them, then you know you've found what you should be looking for. If you concentrate too much on what they can do for YOU, then once that newness/freshness of the beginning of a relationship subsides, you might not feel the same once they've shown you everything that they can. So make sure never to fall into the trap of feeling like your senses need to constantly be refreshed/renewed to keep you happy. That's NOT what should be keeping you happy in a relationship. It's finding someone you admire and love and love knowing what to expect. Sure, some surprises are fun sometimes and will happen, but for the most part, knowing and loving what to expect is the KEY to any long-term successful relationship. If you can't do that, then you'll never last in a long-term relationship because you'll get bored really easily once the newness wears  off.

9. It's good to be honest and gentle, but sometimes it's good to sugar coat 
things to spare someone's feelings a little bit until they improve on something. 
Know when these times are. Every situation is different, you're just going to 
have to find out for yourself when the right times are to do what you need to do.

10. Always make your lover feel like they're the best you ever had when being 
intimate. Seriously. This goes for both men or women. The last thing anyone 
likes is to silently think they're not as good as someone else. This is one of 
the few times where fibbing might be important. HoWeVeR, and I am going to 
emphasize this, as time goes on and your love grows stronger for one another, lots 
of practice happens, and so on and so forth, in time they WILL be the best you 
ever had even if it doesn't start out that way JUST BECAUSE OF who you are with and what they mean to you, which will eventually emphasize ALL of your senses. 

11. If your core foundations don't match, then that's not the right person for 
you. If you're highly anti-drinking, anti-drugs, anti-smoking, want kids, 
marriage, etc. and you're highly adamant on those things, and he is not, then if 
not right away then down the road you're going to clash and the relationship will 
be destroyed. Period. Yes, you can have different interests as far as common 
interests are concerned as LONG AS YOU SHARE SOME so you have other stuff to do 
together BUT the primary things you TRULY AND WHOLEHEARTEDLY BELIEVE IN should match. If they don't, they might never match, and time is too precious to waste 
on the wrong person, and it causes too much heartache in the end to be worth it.

12. Remember that in life there's going to be good times and bad 
times...sometimes you'll be at the top of the mountain and sometimes you'll feel 
buried underneath it. Sometimes the skies will be sunny and other times life will 
seem dark and stormy and miserable. But as long as these are just about the 
"little things", things in life fluctuate. I've been at the top of the mountain 
and I've felt like I just stated to climb it, I've been on cloud 9 and in love so 
much to where the world seemed spinning, only to be followed by crying for 2 weeks 
under the cover because a woman cheated on me and broke my heart. I've had it 
all, and have had nothing. Things in life fluctuate. When you find someone who 
you know is worthy enough and will want to roll with you through those uncertain 
times in life, you'll know it by their strength, their dedication to you, and 
their passion to be with you. You'll just know they "have what it takes."

So, that's all the advice I can give you for now. My brain is pretty well tapped 
right now. :) I hope this helps. :)

Another Poem I Wrote a While Back

Once confused eyes that sought my broken heart, 

her reassuring smile calms my tears.

Her laugh awakens me,

in a deep, never ending mental embrace that longs for her presence.

Words connecting, dreams uniting, passion fueled by fate,

I have found in her my prize for living, my reason for dreaming, and my

desire for loving. 

My heart smiles a final smile, as it seeks to catch up to the magic she has made of my universe.

Some more facts about me....

Little known facts about me:

1. I’m not an ageist.  I’ve dated 18-37, and I’ve found that some people can pack in knowledge and experience in a short time, and some people can live a long time and still be clueless as to what really matters.  So age is not as important as the choices that people have made for themselves during their lifetime, no matter how long that lifetime may have been.   
2. I go out of my way to make people feel comfortable.  On one of my dates, as an example, the girl I was with decided to walk down the boardwalk of a beach without shoes and later complained of her feet hurting.  I stopped, without even thinking about it, and took off my sandals, manually put them on her feet, and insisted that she wear them.  I don’t do things like that to impress, but because I just naturally want people to feel as comfortable as they possibly can due to how I was raised.  I once heard a line in one of my favorite movies about manners (Blast from the Past), which stated, “Manners are not things meant to make one person feel superior to another, but are done to make whomever that person is around feel as comfortable as possible.”  Although I sometimes falter, that’s how I have always tried to live my life.   
3. I am constantly engaged in the beauty of everything around me.  From the natural scenery to the artificial, from a historic building to a beautiful person, from a bird flying overhead to a vividly colorful flower budding for the first time during Springtime, if it’s beautiful in some way to me, I’m probably going to be admiring it.
4.  I’m like the anti-jock.  With big feet and small ankles, I’m a bit klutzy sometimes, so expecting me to be overly athletic is asking a lot.  Yet, for some strange reason I’m really good at tennis.  It’s a good thing I’m not a drinker, though, because I can only imagine what would happen if I had to do the line test when my sense of balance was off.
5. Once I’m comfortable around someone, I try to throw a little humor into just about everything, including moments where trying to make someone laugh is probably the wrong time to do so.  Saying something funny during intimate moments probably isn’t the brightest idea, huh? 
6. I’m a research junkie and have a wide variety of interests.  Some of my many interests include art, architecture, vintage items, nutrition, exercise, bicycling, movies, tennis, ping pong, history, astronomy, human relations, traveling, botanical gardens, museums, watching the waves roll in at the beach, bowling, 70s-80s music, vintage car shows, the performing arts (Plays, mainly), photography, bookstores and libraries, board games, croquet, badminton, gemology, genealogy, aquaculture, the occasional video game, philosophical discussions, and cooking.

This is just the tip of the iceberg, so if you want to know more, all you have to do is ask! 

      

The Meaning of Life

How few people understand what the true *meaning of life* is. From all that I've witnessed, the meaning of life seems pretty simple. So, what is the meaning of life? To keep it going. That's it. It's not really that complex, people. Keeping yourself alive and continuing life through reproduction. Keeping that *spark* going is the one true power that all of us have that can even remotely be considered a small version of whatever universal force it was that created everything. We have that same power, just in a much more minuscule form, just like all other living beings on the planet have. It's what binds us all, and that's why it's SO important that we remind ourselves every day what's really important. It's not money, and it's certainly not "things." It's life. The meaning of life is, quite simply, to live and keep life going.

So, what are my "physical" tastes?

The physical, by no means, is what you fall in love with.  It's what causes the initial attraction, though, since you don't walk across the room to talk to someone unless you like what you see, right?  So, in case you're wondering, this is what I like to look at.

Eyes: It doesn’t matter to me.  I do think blue, green or hazel are more interesting to look at, but have dated many brown-eyed women and I was completely content, so that's really not an issue.


Hair: It doesn't matter to me, as long as her hair goes with her face.  Not every woman can get away with a bobbed haircut or something cutesy if she doesn't have long hair, so as long as it matches and works, then that's all that is important to me.  Shade doesn’t matter to me as long as it is ONE color.  However, with that said, I do prefer looking at straight hair.  It's also MUCH easier to put your fingers through if you want to touch it.  LOL.  


Ears: It varies depending on the woman.  I don’t mind larger ears at all, actually, so I don’t have much of a preference.  


Nose: It depends on the woman.  Some women actually look better with thicker noses or longer noses, so it all depends.  


Teeth: Don't have to be perfect perfect, because mine aren't (I had two teeth snap back AFTER braces!  Ugh!), but can't be a chaotic mess either.  I do prefer whiter shades, which is a lot more easily obtainable than people think. 


Hands: It doesn’t matter, but I admit I do like women who have the same size or smaller hands than I do.  It feels kind of weird holding on to a woman's hands that are bigger than mine are.  


Skin: I do prefer paler skin, but I suppose I could date women with some tan/mocha-like skin.  I guess I'd just have to see.  I'm not into black skin, though.  Sorry--I'm just not.  I also don’t like tattoos.  BUT I may make an exception for the right person but, overall, I’m not into them.  I have a new rule about that, actually.  Although I would prefer a woman with no tattoos, if a woman has 1 or 2 SMALL tattoos and they are NOT in places I like to look at nude and are NOT tacky and she does NOT want any more, I would consider it.  But I am going to be very particular about that.  The way I see it is....they're things that I would have to put up with seeing for the rest of my life if I ended up with her, so they better be something I can deal with.  Also, I'm not a fan of piercings.  Sorry.  If a woman has them on her ears or her navel, that's fine.  But anywhere else?  Sorry..just distracting or weird to me.


Height: From 4 ft 11 to about 5 ft 9.  


Weight: Although I would prefer a woman who weighs the same as me or smaller, since I'm a thin male and this is America we're talking about here and we now have the highest average weight and the most overweight and obese people on the planet, when in Rome, I know I may have to adapt.  So, I have made the 30 pound rule.  To be comfortable with both myself and the other person I end up with, I would prefer that I do not weigh 30 pounds more than she does, or that she does not weigh more than 30 pounds than I do.  It's also body dependent.  Some people can pull off larger weights without looking like a Weeble, and others cannot.  So, it really all depends and is on a case by case basis.


Breasts: Okay.  Hmmm...doesn't really matter I suppose.  As long as she doesn't just have “just” nipples and nothing else—no signs of bumps at ALL, or they're so large they look freakish I guess I'm okay with that part. 


Hair maintenance: Okay, you're going to laugh at this one, but I must be honest.  If a woman looks like a man I'm SO not going to be attracted to her.  Things that are no-nos in Brent's book: Underarm hair, leg hair, hair above a woman's lip, facial hair, dark forearm hair (Light blonde or something to where it looks like it's not there is okay), hair around nipples, a happy trails line, lower back hair, and any other various places that aren't considered feminine are major turn-offs to me.  I once dated a woman who had a happy trails line....and a big one, too....and you can guarantee that I broke out the razor and said..."I don't care if you are afraid that it'll grow back darker, you look like a dude in a bikini."  So....she fussed a little bit, but once I did it she realized it looked OH so much better.  It's funny how sometimes one simple fix can be the difference between night and day visually.  Now pubic hair, believe it or not, and maybe it’s just because it’s my age, but I actually like to see at least a “tiny” bit so I feel like I’m with a girl who actually has passed puberty.  I definitely am not into women that have so much hair down there that they look like they have a Chia pet or they’re a 1970’s Playboy playmate, but the whole “entirely bald” look just seems too juvenile and I would PREFER that they at least had some tiny little patch of some sort to make me know I'm with a woman and not a girl.  Anyway, both of those are just too extreme.  There’s something to be said for balance.  Yeah, I know, you're laughing at me now, aren't you?  LOL


Butt: It has to match her shape.  If it's so big she can't fit through a doorway then, no, that's not going to be attractive to me.  


Okay, that's all I can think of right now.  LOL

Some Things I'm Looking For In a Woman

Stablity: If she has so many mood swings that I always feel like I'm walking on egg shells, that's not going to work.  I need someone with mental stability.  An occasional fit is fine and expected, but my mood is often a direct reflection of someone else's...I'm a bit of an empath that way.  So I'd prefer a woman who had a more happy-go-lucky attitude.  Compassion: If I'm ever having a bad day or am down and out for some reason, I want someone who is comforting/caring and understanding.  Someone who knows that I'm just going through a rough patch and that it isn't how I am *all* of the time.  I do that for others, so I would expect them to do that for me as well.  Passion: I'll admit, I like a woman who likes to be physical.  Whether it's holding hands, cuddling on the couch, the occasional kissing, or rolling around pretending to be bunnies, I want someone who is going to love me so much to where she just WANTS to do that stuff naturally, without ever feeling like I'm coercing her into it or anything.  Someone who wants me as much as I want her.  Children: She has to love and want children.  Period.  She also has to realize that ground rules need to be set when it comes to kids, because if you give them an inch, they will take a mile.  Also, I feel as though giving a kid chores when they're REALLY young so they are used to them and won't fuss and fume as much when they get older will help them be a more cohesive part of the family by helping out, and also will prepare them for the future when they have to go to work one day.  I didn't get that when I was growing up and was quite spoiled, and after analyzing everything, I think I may have turned out a little better if I was started out on chores at an early age.  I also think doing different things can help kids learn about how to do things overall, which I think is a good thing.  Now, I don't mean all work and no play--definitely not.  You're only a kid once, so you should enjoy it.  Definitely.  Kids are a joy to be around and they should be able to express themselves *as* kids but, at the same time, throw them an adult chore every now and then so they can get accustomed to that sort of stuff.  Problems: My theory is....first you try and see if a compromise can be met when you have a disagreement so both people can at least get a little of what they each want.  If you can't, you throw BOTH people's ideas out the window and try and form a brand new idea together.  I'm SO tired of people jumping ship over stupid things.  I want stability in a marriage.  Someone who is going to stay on that boat with me and realize that, yes, we're going to have to go through some storms, but when they're over with, the skies will be clear and everything will be fine again.  To me, marriage =s a forever commitment, and I am not the type of person who would EVER want a divorce UNLESS someone was being unfaithful to me or started really bad habits like drugs or something.  Humor: She HAS to have a good sense of humor, because I'm often trying to be funny.  I don't always succeed, but I do try.  Compatibility: We have to have at least some things in common, so we have some things to do other than the naked two-step tango all of the time.  I mean, don't get me wrong, intimacy is a blast when you're with the right person, but I'm not all about that.  I like watching movies, occasionally traveling to cute little historic towns, going to museums, gardens, maybe even an occasional theme park, etc., etc.  So, we have to like at least some things that we can do together when time, money, and energy permits without the other person fussing, you know what I mean?  Habits: Can't be a smoker, can't do drugs (And yes, I consider marijuana a drug, and can't be a heavy drinker.  An occasional drink is fine, but I frown on any more because I like to be with people who I KNOW are thinking for themselves and not letting the alcohol talk for them.  Besides, if *I* can have fun and be a goof-ball without alcohol, she should be able to do the same thing.  If not, then something in her personality would definitely be lacking for me.  Love: She has to believe in this.  Attitude: Happy, go-lucky attitude, with a really sweet and emotional side.  One that believes in romance as well and is touched by it.  Thoughts: She has to be open and honest, and TELL me what I need to know.  I'm a lousy guesser, and although I know most women WANT a guy to be able to read them, I rarely can.  Women are way too complex for that sort of thing.  Sex: Has to be someone who doesn't see it as an expectations sort of thing, but rather a fun, flirty, trial-and-error sort of thing.  It takes a while before you know how someone's body does/does not work and what it takes to make both of your experiences magical.  This is something I've definitely learned.  Guys, well, we have like one button on a computer that needs to be pressed, whereas many women have about 100.  If not more.  LOL.  You're a LOT more complicated than we are in that respect.  Hmmm....well, I'm sure there's more, but that's all I can think of for the time being.  Oh, one more thing.  Body: I want someone who is going to take care of herself because although, yes, I do want to continue liking to look at her, I think being healthier is also a way to keep the other person around longer, and I WANT to be with my future wife a long, long time.  So, if she eats like crap and it starts to show, I want her to be smart enough to tell herself things have to change.  Once a person's metabolism changes in their mid 30s or so, they can't always eat the same kinds of things they ate as kids.  Period.  If I take care of myself, I want her to be able to do the same thing.  Because there's nothing more damaging to a relationship than the other person trying to get someone to change when they don't want to.  I've went down that road before and it does not work and just causes resentment.  So....I want a smart girl who can realize when things about herself need to be fixed.  I do that with myself, so I feel she should as well.  Intelligence: I don't want a woman who is going to blow my IQ off the map, but someone who can keep up with me intellectually.  Also, someone who is willing to learn about new subjects, because I often talk about things I know to keep the conversations rolling.  

Couples I see in Florida

I did some errands the other day and looked around at the young couples while I was out and about, and I wonder what on Earth you ladies in Florida are choosing, and want to emphasize that what a person gets with me will NOT be anything like that.  I see some of the most vibrant, cheery, beautiful young women with men who have a constant scowl on their face, never seem to smile, look perpetually ticked off and like they just don’t want to be there, and often look like they picked these men right out of a store called “Thugs R Us.”  Even the better looking dudes still usually have that look on their faces and just don’t seem very funny or friendly around their girlfriends/wives.  So, ladies, although that virility may do something for you in the bedroom, let me be honest here and say that’s not what you want for the rest of your life out of the bedroom.  That’s a divorce waiting to happen.  With me a person gets something different.  I smile and laugh all the time, am very affectionate and am not afraid to hold a woman’s hand or even kiss her in public (Within reason) and am always putting my arm around the person I care about.  I show her in all ways and all places the type of happy, affectionate, humorous, talkative person I can be, and I hope you will agree that, whether with me or some other guy, those are the kinds of actions, mannerisms, and looks you need to be looking for with “any” guy you end up liking.  That’s the kind of thing that is going to keep you happy for the long haul.  That’s the kind of thing that will keep you in love with someone beyond the initial attraction.

Is Nature Out To Get Us?

If Asians are the longest living people on the planet, and the longest recorded people in living history were all 5 ft or under and thin, then why are people constantly getting taller?  I mean, bad diets, I understand, is one of the reasons we're getting BIGGER/more, ahem, robust, but what about taller?  Is it the same reason?  Are the bad diets contributing to an increase in height?  Or is nature purposefully trying to end our lives early so that we can renew the youth cycle faster?  I mean...look at a group of 80 to 90 year olds.  How many are tall?  Not many, if any, because they're all dead!  So, shouldn't women be looking for short, skinny mates if they plan on having someone for the TRULY long haul?  Instead, they go for average builds and height, which pretty much ensures they're probably going to be alone the last 10-30 years of their life.  If you don't believe me, walk through a retirement community one time near a recreation center or a pool during Summer or something and see how many older ladies are there without mates.  It's just something to think about.  Maybe shooting for the Asian ideal of height and weight is more suited to a longer, healthier life.
 

Online Dating Communication--it's really not that hard

I don't know how it is with men, of course, but with a lot of women it seems as though a lot of them have lost the fine art of communication.  Whether you're with someone in person or online, here's a rule to follow.  You need to both tell the other person about yourself AND acknowledge the other person as being interesting or important enough to learn about, which means you also need to comment on what they say AND ask them questions just like they're asking you questions.

Here's how it should play out, ladies.  It's really not that hard.

1.  The conversation begins.  One person says something about themselves.
2.  The other person A. Responds to what the person said, B. Talks about something similar or different pertaining to the subject and THEIR lives, and then either C. Let's the other person comment on what they just said or D. In return, ask a question about THEIR lives so make sure you express interest in who they are and what they are about.

Never, ever forget to throw step D. in the mix every now and then, ladies.  Men want to feel like we're interesting enough to you to get to know just like YOU want us to be interested in knowing what YOU are about.  So, don't ever let it be a one-way street.  Participate and SHOW INTEREST!  It's the only way you'll  ever have a chance at forming a spark!

What Super Hero am I?

     Someone once called me Superman and that’s who an online test said I was as well but, I'll admit, after thinking it over I don't really think that's who I am. If I were a Superhero, I'd have to say I was Spider-Man. I was trying to figure out which 3 Superheroes seem to be the most popular in mainstream society, and I came up with Superman, Batman, and Spider-Man. 

     Superman, although seemingly invincible except for Kryptonite, does always try to do the right thing but, alas, he's not human. Although I try to live my life in a morally superior way, every now and then I will make a mistake. They're rarely huge and have never been deal-breakers in relationships from what I can see, but they still have an element of humanity in them, not alien and inhuman like Superman is.

     I then considered Batman. The modern-day Batman is nothing like the cutesy, do-gooder 1960s t.v. show version or 1970s cartoon version anymore. Although seemingly calm and collected because he doesn't say much and seems like nothing seems to bother him, he now beats the crap out of people without even flinching, which shows little compassion for doing the right thing and, in real life, that kind of person could easily snap due to all of that internal, repressed frustration and would be a serious danger to those around him. Not only that, but someone so cold and lifeless and distant probably wouldn't make a good relationship partner anyway, am I right? So, I'm definitely not Batman. 

     My last choice, of which I think I resemble more than any of the other superheroes, is Spider-Man. The things that Spider-man stands for are me in a nutshell. He's comical, lovable, always tries to do the right thing and DOES when it pertains to major moral choices but still falters from time to time with the little things, always tries to find a way to capture bad guys without having to use much violence, and has feelings, is emotional, and believes in the good things in life such as true love. So, I think out of all of the Superheroes I can think of, Spider-Man describes me best. 

Wowness

You know what you hardly ever see?  A really white young woman with natural jet black hair and either natural green or natural blue eyes.  I've only come across a couple of them in my lifetime but when I do it truly makes me stop and look.  The other day I had to go into the gas station because the machine outside didn't print my receipt and I'm always in fear that the cops are going to come knocking at my door because of an inept gas station attendant who didn't do something right.  (Which is why I want proof that I paid--a receipt!)  Well, on the way out I walked by this stunning pale-skinned woman with black hair and greenish-blue eyes (Couldn't tell which for sure, really) that, literally, made me stop in my tracks she was so beautiful "and" exotic looking at the same time.  I, literally, stopped, stared, and lost all train of thought.  She smiled as she walked past me, probably grinning because I no doubt had drool dripping from my mouth because I was so floored by her unique but wonderful looks.  I just do not SEE that combo very often.  It's so utterly rare.  Natural black hair like that is usually more prominent on darker skinned gals, and black haired women almost never have blue or green eyes, so it's a treat to see that every now and then.

Illinois

If you weren't aware, I am originally from central Illinois.  Lately I've been thinking of gathering some money up and visiting for a short while.  I have a grandpa up there who, every time I talk to him, makes me think he's getting closer and closer to Alzheimer's.  He's in his mid 80s now, has had various skin cancers burned off of him, and apparently from what my Step-Grandma says, his memory now sucks and is just getting worse.  So, cancer and potential Alzheimer's.  Joy.  In addition, I admit, it may be nice to meet up with a couple of old friends and perhaps even a new one I made online.  Still contemplating.  My Grandpa, even though he loves his grandchildren, is kind of weird about even family staying there for some really weird reason, and I don't know if I could do all of that money for a motel while visiting.  So....still contemplating what I'm going to do.  I know that gas prices are extreme, but without driving I wouldn't have a way to get around unless I rented a car so, overall, although I'd like to go, that seems like a trip that would be rather costly for me right now since money is a little tight.

My Desk

     I recently found a cool vintage desk with rounded edges that someone had spray painted blue that I wanted to try and salvage since I wanted a different desk since the one I have looks like some kind of ugly blonde colored particle board "kit" computer desk from the early 1990s.  Seeing as how I'm into vintage and antique stuff, I figured I should get something that better suits my interests.
     Anyway, although the blue color was refreshing and I did like that color, it wouldn't go with any of my stuff and, truth be told, that would be okay as an accent color, but not an entire freaking piece of furniture.  It looked like a giant robin laid an egg in the shape of a desk.  But anyway, I now have a newfound respect for people who build or refinish/salvage furniture.  Whoever painted this thing must have used a spray gun and must have been aiming it at this desk like some kind of alcoholic peeing on an alley wall after downing 6 beers or something.  I have never seen so much thick paint in my life.  I have now spent 12 hours applying paint remover and, literally, scraping the paint off with a metal putty knife.  Well, after THAT was done there was still a haze of paint, so then I used an electric sander for 4 hours to get most of the rest off.  NOW I have to hand sand a shelf that the sander wouldn't fit in and THEN I have to apply mineral spirits to get any excess off that I couldn't get and THEN I, finally, get to stain it.  So, yeah, if you know anyone who refinishes furniture or repairs furniture or builds it, give them props, because this crap is NOT easy!

Contemplating

I'm contemplating just using online dating sites to just make friends.  Honestly, no one matches me, or the ones I write don't write me, or when I do end up getting interested in someone she's apparently so socially awkward she wants to put me through about a thousand hoops before she'll even meet me, or if I end up in a relationship, it ends in chaos because apparently I didn't know how to pick women in the past for the life of me.  When 2 out of 4 cheat on you while you're in a relationship with them, the third one has sex during a break with a man when you've only been apart for 2 days and there WAS a chance for reconciliation, and the 4th was just all wrong for you, I think that may be nature's way of telling me that either I'm a lousy picker, or the online dating pool isn't the one I should be fishing from.  I don't know.  I'm torn.  Part of me wants to give up on that avenue, but the other part makes me think that I should keep all options open and never give up.  I don't know what is worse.  Having no chances but not being disappointed anymore, or having chances but being disappointed.  Thus far, it seems like I can't find a middle ground.

Technology

I bought a digital monitor cable for my parent's new monitor and for the first time in a long time had to look something up that was hardware related. I of course know what a VGA cable is and even HDMI and high-speed HDMI for newer connections, but had no idea how many differences existed with DVI. (Kind of the mid-point connection type between VGA and HDMI time-frames). DVI-A, DVI-I, DVI-D, and single or dual link. I had no idea there were differences.  I swear--you blink and everything you know about technology is old hat.

Blogs...

I recently copied a lot of my blogs from Fbook, so, in effect, until 3:30 p.m. on August 30, 2011, all of my blogs are in reverse order.  AKA--The older ones are actually the most recent.  However, from this point on, everything new will be new.

The Age of Consent. A very interesting topic for those who have kids.

What are your thoughts on this issue? Curious. Here's what I wrote to a friend....

For the longest time I was a huge advocate for keeping kids as kids as long as possible because my childhood was rather innocent and you're only a kid once. However, "with that said", since I am well aware that puberty is nature's way of telling us we're ready and willing to mate, I had to do some research. In our country, the legal age of consent for most kids is 17-18. However, if you go overseas, most Europeans have a range of around 14-16, which is generally a lot closer to the onset of puberty than 17-18 obviously is. On one hand, I originally thought....by making them wait, this may prevent teen pregnancies, and keeping kids as kids "longer." Then I did research on teen pregnancies and rapes and found that in America, there's more teen pregnancies and rapes than in Europe. So, in effect, by keeping kids from something their bodies are curious about, are we perhaps making them want to do things "more" because of that? Wouldn't it be better to sync up the legal age of consent with biology if the Europeans had less teen pregnancy rates than we did? It's just a thought. So, I'm kind of torn on that one. I had a great, innocent childhood and everything free from adult issues, but on the other hand, when being forbid to do something, I do know that it often makes kids want to do things even more, so "should we" be preventing them? It just makes you wonder. Is restraining biology for the purpose of us giving us children for a longer length of time actually more of a risk than allowing them to pursue their biological curiosities? 

My Top 50 Movies

I wanted to make a list of some of my all-time favorite movies, so I chose 50. (Although technically more, because some had sequels that I also liked) These are in no particular order, other than alphabetically, and are all ones that I never grow tired of watching and will eagerly watch over and over again. Short 30 minute-1 hr. things like classic Xmas cartoons and such won’t be included in this list, but I do love a lot of the classics such as Rudolph and such. Also, this is just a small sampling.

50 First Dates

Along Came Polly

Auntie Mame (Rosalyn R.)

Austin Powers (All of them)

Blast from the Past

Christmas Story (Ralphie character)

Clash of the Titans

Day After Tomorrow

The Deep (Nick Nolte)

Deuce Bigalow

Elf

Eurotrip

The Fifth Element

Finding Nemo

Groundhog Day

Harry Potter (All of them)

Holiday Inn (Bing Crosby)

Idiocracy (Kind of dumb, but I like the message it’s trying to convey—how idiotic we can become if we let ourselves)

Independence Day

Iron Man

It’s a Wonderful Life

Just Married

Money Pit

The Mummy (New ones—all of them)

My Super Ex-Girlfriend

National Lampoon’s Vacation

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

Notting Hill

Omega Man (Cheesy, but for some reason I’ve always liked this one)

Planet of the Apes (All of them)

Pleasantville

“Road to” Movies (Bing Crosby, Bob Hope)

Saving Silverman

Shallow Hal

Spider-Man (All of them)

Splash

Star Trek (All of them)

Star Wars (All of them)

Stargate

Superman (All of them)

There’s something about Mary

Time Machine (1960s version)

Transformers

Ultimate Gift (I don’t usually like dramas, but this one is good)

Van Wilder

Wedding Crashers

Wedding Singer

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (Original)

Wizard of Oz

X-men (All of them)

So, what about you? Ever made a list?

Humans Vs. Winter

     I thought I'd discuss another topic. Have you ever stopped to consider how much of the continent, and even much of the world, is doing things all wrong? What I mean is....the human body isn't meant to handle extremely low temperatures. We don't have fur like wolves or rabbits, we get sick or die if the temperature is too cold, experience massive dryness internally and with our skin if the temperature is too cold, fire is actually nature's way of clearing out forests for new growth and, except for man, not one creature on the planet sticks around when a fire starts (AKA--It just isn't something we were naturally meant to start on purpose), nothing grows when it drops below freezing so, therefore, food is basically non-existent unless you stored a bunch of nuts for the winter like squirrels or know how to find roots like rabbits, and due to our slower speed, non-ferocious jaws, lack of claws, etc. we technically weren't "meant" to be predators for meat or to catch animals in order to get their fur. Sure, we "have" adapted, but did we need to?

     Perhaps nature was giving us clues all along to what we should do, but we were ignoring it. We should have been watching the sky and seeing where the birds were heading in the Fall/Winter, and also realizing the fact that the only potential food we could easily catch "without" spears or other artifically created things, which are bugs believe it or not, are also without a trace in the winter months. IMO, I think man was meant to travel South when a hint of cold comes due to all of the clues that tell us we weren't meant to survive there. Prior to automobiles and such, walking may not have been out of the question. Say, for example, you wanted to walk from Decatur, Illinois to Cape Coral, Florida. The trip is 1,180 miles. Say you walked 5 hours a day, eating food along the way that you found in orchards and fields and such. An average human walks 4 miles per hour. At 5 hours a day that means each day you'd walk 20 miles each day. 1,180 divided by 20 miles is 59 days. Let's just make it 60. If you left right to the prior onset of Fall in Illinois when it was getting colder, you'd be down in Cape Coral (I just used this as an example--no particular reason) after 2 months and it'd still be nice and toasty warm down there. In return, you'd have months of typical Florida winter crops, such as strawberries, oranges, and such..much of our crops here grow in the winter believe it or not.

So, when you think about it....how our bodies can't seem to handle extreme temperatures, there's no natural food up there in the winter, etc., etc., etc., perhaps we were meant to walk down South when it got too cold up there, and walk back up there when it got way too hot down here. Perhaps we were all meant to be drifters, moving from one place to another in order to protect ourselves from the elements and go to places that have growing food. In addition, wouldn't that be nature's way of giving us a variety throughout the year? Central crops in the Summer and Tropical crops in the winter? Although the drifters of today don't seem to do things normally and, instead, pan-handle for money to buy their food instead of try searching for it themselves, perhaps, at least concerning the traveling part, they're onto something we just haven't figured out for ourselves yet. It's just something to think about.

Parents with Kids--Please Read

     I recently had an ex-friend (I blocked her--I thought she was just way too weird--and for me to say that's a BIG thing. LOL) throw a hissy because I said it was completely natural and beneficial if a father took part in a female child's normal upbringing, like when she's little also help with feeding, diapers, bathing, etc., and for some reason she was completely against things like that concerning female children, especially bathing. Now, call me crazy, but since when did society get so inclined to thinking that a father taking care of his own kid automatically meant he was some kind of potential pedophile? Seriously, people. That's just whacked. Also, it is my belief that not only is it a "responsible" thing to do to share in the responsibilities of taking care of children, whether they're male "or" female, but only allowing one gender to do certain things when they're really little might cause the child to bond more with one partner over the other. Anyway, that whole conversation with her just got me so irked, it was almost like a slap in the face to all men...like she was saying there's always a possibility that any male who washes a 2 year old little girl or something is instantly going to snap and go all pedo on her or something. Give me a freaking BrEaK! Is this what society has come to? Where just because a guy has a penis he's automatically labeled as some kind of sicko? I mean, when you're little you don't think about those kinds of things, and if a male is normal he's not going to EITHER. It's his own freaking kid, for God's sake. When I was little I was washed by both of my parents, and didn't think it was weird when my mom washed me even though she had different "parts", and didn't think it was weird when my dad washed me even though he had the same parts. Many adults seem to forget that when you're little nothing down there is related to sex, just peeing.

Some men are just more nurturing than others and like to participate. Period. So, seriously...do all women think like my ex-friend nowadays due to the negative media influences, or is she truly as whacked as I think she is?