I was discussing the things that super skinny, shorter-than-average men like myself have to go through with a good friend of mine, and I thought I'd share. Perhaps this may give you a little insight on what being a really thin, shorter guy is like. I'm not writing this so anyone will try and feel sorry for me, I just want you to know that being super thin, shorter, and a male isn't going to have the same reaction from people in today's society as it is for a female. So, in case this is something you've never thought about before, allow me to be your eye-opener for the day.
First off, I'm 5 ft 8 (American male average is 5 ft 9 1/2 for all Americans and 5 ft 10 for male white Americans but that's increasing) and 130 pounds (Very lower part of the average BMI for my height--not underweight, but nowhere near the middle of average for my height), and no, it's not easy for me to gain weight. The most I've ever weighed is 135, and it all was in my belly, which made me feel horrible, kind of hunched over more than I would like, and slowed me down considerably. Even then, just to get like that I had to pack in so much food I literally felt like throwing up all of the time I was so intensely full. Ever tried to force feed yourself when you're not hungry? It's not fun. So, anyway, I stopped trying to do what my body obviously didn't want, and let my own internal rhythm dictate how much food goes in.
Overall, I will say that the idea of weight, in this country at least, is a double standard really. When women are pencil thin they're flocked after, but if a man is pencil thin he's somehow "not good enough" physically in the eyes of a lot of women. Whether it's due to something deep within the DNA that tells them they need to be protected and, in turn, I wouldn't do a good enough job, or perhaps something deep down that indicates a thicker guy would be more likely to survive and would, in turn, potentially produce stronger offspring or WHAT is beyond me, but I think a lot of it has to do with something biological. Which, as funny as this may sound, is also self-defeating when concerned with long-term relationships. What do I mean? Women may go after thicker or taller or more muscular men, and in the short run during their reproductive years that may do something for them (But not much having to do with protection because we don't live in that kind of a rough environment anymore), but in the long run that's a hindrance. Why? Because it is a known fact that shorter, thinner people live longer. Women live longer than men anyway, so right there you've got a strike one. But after doing the research, it seems as though the longest living people ever recorded were short and thin. It makes sense, really. When your heart doesn't have to work so hard to pump blood through a larger frame, it's going to hold up longer. Actually, when concerned with supercentenarians (People that live over 110), I think 8 of the top 10 of the longest living of those people were even under 5 ft! So, it makes you wonder. Women often crave the tall guys, or the beefier guys, but those aren't the guys that will last as long in the long run. I agree. Look at a group of 90 somethings and tell me how many overweight or tall people you see. Not many! Because they’re all dead! Sure--some shrinkage over the years has occured, but it's almost never more than a few inches.
So, it makes you think....is life setting us up? Is it purposefully having us crave massive amounts of bad stuff, and having us go after people who won't last so the population turnover rate will be quicker? And, if that's the case, then what happened with the Asians? Because their bodies seem to be doing what they're supposed to. Staying compact and thin. Or is it just all about a lifestyle thing and our food choices are what are causing our bodies to be larger and taller and, in turn, that's causing our psychological wants to be different because we feel they have to be? It's all interesting to think about.
Another thing I've noticed, which I didn't discuss before concerning dating, is that women seem to be more forgivable if a man is a little thicker or more muscular if he's shorter, or if he's still super skinny it's more forgivable if he's taller. It's almost as if, in order for exceptions to be made, physically something else must be more "normal" in their eyes. So, no, I can't ever say that men are pickier than women. We're both equally bad.
As for being a shorter, thinner guy, in addition to being passed by in the dating world way more than I would like (Although larger women seem to love me for some reason, and I still haven't figured out why I've always been such a big girl magnet), I often have to think in terms of, "If I do something, will I physically get hurt due to my smaller bone structure." Also, when clothes shopping....what torture. Finding "anything" in a small men's is like a needle in a haystack. They still make them, but not as many as the other sizes at ALL. And even then sometimes they're too big. Or pants...waist size I can find, but length isn't always as easy because I'm 2 inches shorter than the average American male.
Or there's the other things--when I eat, I know people are watching me, analyzing how much I eat, thinking I might not be eating enough or fattening enough foods. Also, I know that due to my weight there's bound to be people who might think I'm sick or something, or have Aids or cancer or an eating disorder, but I'm actually perfectly healthy. However, since guys of my weight are far from the norm, that's often something that could easily pop up in their minds. So, these are just a few of many things that I have to go through on a day-to-day basis. Trust me. Being super thin for a male isn't easy. But for a female? Let's think. Society emphasizes thinness for women, so they often have their pick and choose of dating partners or otherwise, unless their faces look like they had an unfortunate accident. And clothing sizes are pretty much geared for their sizes. Noone looks twice if they limit their portion sizes to what their bodies can handle and many actually applaud them for knowing their limits. Noone expects them to be involved in rough activities if they don't feel they're capable of doing so. And unless their ribs are showing or something, noone thinks they have a disease or an eating disorder.
So, double standard? I think so.
Brent
