Even though I'm a *new* father and have only scratched the surface here, if anyone asked me today what I thought it took to be a good dad, here's what I'd tell them: 1. Have patience. Which, by the way, is much easier to do when you've aged, slowed down a little, and had lots of life experiences. I don't know if I would have been ready to handle this 1/2 my life ago. I don't know how anyone does this in their 20s considering how high strung and/or flighty a lot of them are. (Not all, mind you. Just a lot...) 2. As much as you want everything to be done because it may be driving you nuts seeing unfinished things, realize that it'll all get done eventually. Just do little bits at a time when you actually have any time. The first priority is your child. Everything else comes second. 3. Don't be afraid to let your inner child out. Have fun, play with them, watch cartoons together and get right down there on the floor with them when they're with their toys. Don't be afraid to a be a goofball. It'll keep both you and your child happy and smiling/laughing, give your time together more meaning, and in the long run give them a much happier childhood. 4. And this one goes out to the guys more than anyone....don't be afraid to express love. Tell your kid you love them, hold them, when they're young make sure to kiss them on the cheeks and forehead, and make sure they feel warmth coming from your direction. They need to feel wanted and loved by both parents if two are around, not just one. 5. Realize that just because the world has gone to crap doesn't mean you can't flush the toilet before your child gets to the bathroom. What I mean by that is...just because kids nowadays are doing something, or watching something, or acting certain ways, or all have something...doesn't mean your child has to do these same exact things. Give your child knowledge and experience/fun, but not necessarily more things. That's a good start. Also, if you push the positive happy things and try to steer clear of the violent/whack-a-do ones, sure, they may be at odds with a lot of people in the future, but you know what? If they wake up every morning smiling, and try to spread that joy and happiness and peace, then who cares? For every person out there a match exists for them somewhere. Also, if a lot of their peers are crazy little brats, is it really BAD that your own child is different and has most of their influences being positive? Heck no! Maybe if enough parents would show them more happy stuff/times in their lives as opposed to constantly immersing their minds in the crazy downward spiral the world is headed towards then one day this world will actually turn around for the better. Perhaps one day kids will once again be allowed to BE kids because that's all they know. I'm not saying to completely say the world smells like roses, because they have to at least be somewhat prepared when they go out there in the world, but what I'm saying is that they have plenty of time as adults to experience the bad things. They're only kids once, so let them be happy, show them good things, and try to weed out the stuff from their lives that would give them a greater chance for them to turn into violent and mentally unstable little brats. Anyway, that's all I've got so far. The rest I suppose I'll just play by ear.
