Relationship Advice

In the world of dating, I find it interesting how one person can be considered trash by someone, but that same person can be viewed as a treasure by someone else. Yes, I said person. In relationships especially, it all seems to come down to perception.

I mean, it's funny how even negative-based words can mean something completely different to one person than they can another. For example, the words clingy, possessive, jealous, and controlling might make many flee for the hills, but those words might not have the same meaning for different types of people. I was discussing this with a female friend today, so I decided to reiterate my stance on the matter.

Let's start with clingy. To some people, they might think a person is being clingy when, in effect, that might just mean that the person in question loves spending a lot of time with them a LOT more than they want to spend time with that person. To others...those who are REALLY into the other person, they won't see that as clingy but, rather, that the other person adores them so much that they have trouble being apart from them. So, some people's "clingy" is another person's "they must really love me.

Or, in the case of being possessive....to those who think others are too possessive, it could just mean that "that" person who feels that way may want to still be single and do things they're not supposed to when they're in a relationship. Whereas a person who WANTS to be wanted just by that one person, well, they will adore the fact that someone else doesn't want anyone to have them, which indicates, to them, that they are definitely loved.

As for jealousy, to a person who thinks someone is too jealous, it COULD mean that the reason they're jealous is because the other person is not drawing the normal boundary lines within their relationship. If their s.o. is constantly talking on the phone with other men who are SINGLE, flirting in front of them, etc., then heck YEAH they're going to be jealous because the other person isn't making them feel safe and desired. So it's not always that a person is being too jealous but, sometimes, it was the other person not making them feel like their relationship was safe.

Or, in the case of control. One person's control is another person's "guiding" or, quite simply, them just saying what it will take in order to make them feel comfortable and/or safe. Just because a person desires something to happen a certain way in a relationship doesn't mean they're controlling. They're just wanting to feel comfortable. So one person's "controlling" is another person's "they just want to feel comfortable, so I understand why they're being like that."

So, it's all a matter of perception. Therefore, if you have a problem in a relationship, before you jump to the worst possible conclusions about a person, try to understand where they're coming from. It doesn't necessarily mean they're in the wrong, it just might mean that they feel differently about something, and the reason for it might not be so bad after all.

http://www.amazon.com/Jonathon-Jones/e/B006PE7K8U/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1

New Ebook on Superhero Collectibles now on Apple Itunes!

My new superhero pin-backs book is now, in addition to Amazon and Barnes and Noble, available on the Apple iTunes store!

http://itunes.apple.com/us/book/comic-book-superhero-collectible/id553193988?mt=11

Piercings

You know, I've always been okay when a woman decided to pierce her ears.  I mean, women have been doing that for, literally, ever.  But when they decide to pierce other parts of their faces, I'm sorry, but when I look at women like that...I instantly think they look like they were the unfortunate by-standard of a fishing lure accident.  Facial piercings are just so...distracting to the natural beauty of a woman's face.  I wonder how many women don't seem to realize that.  How putting those on the face don't help with their looks, they actually take away from them.  Just a personal opinion, of course.  I guess I just prefer natural beauty.

America Should Not Be So Free

I think if you give too much rope to anyone they'll end up using it for something stupid.  As I've always said....when you give people too much freedom, it means nothing unless they use that freedom with responsibility and convey an element of class while doing it.  Otherwise, it's just plain stupidity and breaks down our standards of conscience as well as social status when perceived as a whole.

I'm, of course, not suggesting us being in complete control by external forces because we have North Korea and previously Germany to see what happens when those examples are used.  However, total freedom?  I don't believe in it, because it can disrupt people's lives and society as a whole and downgrade its overall worldwide worth.  Therefore, there's something to be said for balance.  If you swing too far one way or too far the other, things will become too extreme.

Freedom isn't the ability to do anything we want.  Freedom is, instead, the opportunity for people to be responsible, use their conscience, as well as giving them a chance to be viewed by the majority of society as having a sense of self-respect, pride, and class.  That's really the only way American society as a whole is going to be a better one, since it is actually NOT number one in everything anymore.

To be a better society, and better people overall, it's not about religion even though that sometimes helps, because non-religious people can still have good morals, have a conscience, do the right thing, and convey themselves in a way that shows class.  It's all about getting us to all take the right path because, if we don't, we have just abused the right of freedom that we were given and, in turn, truly don't deserve it.

Things I am thankful for...

Things I am truly thankful for:

-My loving, emotionally supportive family.
-The fact that my parents are still together after 44 years.
-That I’m healthy, youthful looking, have a full head of hair, am comfortable in my own skin, and everything works like it’s supposed to.
-My blue eyes that I got from my Dad.
-That I have a creative and inquisitive nature.
-My 16 year old cat, who has stood by me, ignoring me ½ the time of course like most cats do, but always there for me when I needed to hug something and no one was around.
-The fact that I have a roof over my head and food in my stomach on a non-stop basis.
-That I finally found something that I love to do that actually pays me money.
-That I now live in a state that is warmer than most the majority of the year, which also gives me an abundance of nature and beautiful scenery to look at.
-That I have the memory of my mom’s parents to remind me what an ideal relationship is supposed to be like.
-That I actually have a sense of humor.
-That I have always had the willpower to always say “no” when I know something wouldn’t be good for me.
-That I have it within me to have fun and loosen up without needing anything artificial to do it.
-That I only have a few very close friends as opposed to an abundance of acquaintances.
-That I know how to appreciate the beauty in things most people seem to overlook.

So, what are you thankful for?